Why Do You Abandon Me ?
went to pay my mum's bill at tampines mall.
then lepak with yuyu.
that girl,
hahaa,
she was my enemy, big time.
but now,
she's like one of my bestest company and listener.
and yeaah.
i love her.
I dont know whether i should blog about this.
but it kept haunting me.
it kept me thinking.
yesterday was a really bad day.
after i came back from redhill,
i went to the nearest photo printing shop.
i printed out a picture of myself, ferra and Aza.
i printed two pieces of my photo with Aza.
as i printed wrongly before that.
one piece was meant for him.
I was really happy as i can have our picture in my wallet.
i went home and as usual,
checked my facebook.
i will always view his profile and see his update.
that's what i will usually do.
only god knows how i felt at that very point of time.
when i saw his picture sleeping with a girl.
it was really miserable.
i felt something so hard on me.
i felt like a trash.
i felt i was just there for lust.
i couldnt even utter a word.
my tears just cant stop draining my cheeks.
i called him to asked about it and he said im being a busybody.
after all this while,
ive never controlled his wonderful life.
i understand his lifestyle.
and i understand how he is.
and thats the reason why im still holiding on.
i dint expect for anything a girl wants.
everyday msges,calls.
no, i dint.
i just want him to at least show how he appreciate me.
thats all.
but what do i get in return?
i kept holding on to something i aint sure going to be reality.
from the very start,
i know we dont suit ourself in the word 'love'.
it dint even exist in fact.
even though ive told the world that im a special someone to you.
it dint made any impact.
i dont know whether it time to move on.
Ive learnt that love means letting go.
Ive ran far ,
through thick and thin of this story.
i only see that the scene is coming to an end.
and that,
im going nowhere.
i kept running and holding on to something i aint sure will ever be mine.
you turned me into someone that can appreciate and made me have the patience i can never imagine.
i love you.
you're the one whom made me feel so weak and helpless.
the one that im unconditionally and irrevocably in love with.
But that's not enough to even explain what meant deep inside.
this time,
i gave up.
i gave up coz i dont wanna hurt, no more.
and after all,
i dint see a burning desire for you to change.
not even a single bit.
maybe your life would be much more wonderful with all ya friends and girl friends.
its just me who made a disturbance to your life.
all i can say now.
its over.
and thanks for the 8 months.
i know you can live happily without me.
='(
♥ Missin YOU @ 3:15 AM
